Ok, I’m confused about a few of the things I saw on last night’s finale of American Idol. Not the fact that Taylor won; Sweet Sweet Lovin’ simply slobberknockered Kat on Tuesday night. What I’m confused about are some other things from the show.

Before I get to the confusion, though, let me say that you’ve got to feel for poor Katharine McPhee.

One, she got the worst original “song” to sing during her final at bat on Tuesday, the utterly putrescent “My Destiny”.

Two, she seems to be unable to connect emotionally with anything she sings. Who sings the lyric “Because I’m evil, my middle name is misery” while smiling sweetly? Besides Katharine, I mean.

Finally, the third reason to feel for Ms. McPhee: she had to sing a duet with that sweaty blob of a bowling alley manager, Meatloaf. To top that injustice, she was inclined to take his hand and hankie - a nasty damp red hankie - at the end of the song. Mr. Loaf, I implore you, is this anyway to treat the gorgeous and boobtastic Ms. McPhee?

Now, for the confusing bits:

Was that a transvestite impersonating Toni Braxton? “She” mumbled her way unintelligibly through a duet with Taylor – and in a lower register than the grey-haired champion. Time for your estrogen pills, Mr. Braxton.

Why was David Hasselhoff crying? Was it over his shipwrecked career? Did it have something to do with a talking car? Or record sales in Germany? Does he know there is no crying on Baywatch?

Back to Meatloaf for a moment. What a disturbing performance. I thought he sounded like Tiny Tim. Mr. Stiglicz wrote, “What is up with his weird vibrato?????” Bernard Coles thought someone was tickling him. Whichever, it was a disaster.

And who else thought the segment with the ditzy audition-reject and Clay Aiken was hysterical? And kind of cool?

Lastly, a note for Chris:

Dear Chris, your cold, soulless performance with that dreck-band Live revealed tonight why you were voted off the island before the finals. Please, inject a little fun into what you’re doing and let some of it shine through to the audience. And stop singing with irrelevant, has-been bands like Live. This includes Fuel. You’ve got pipes, man. Don’t blow this chance.

So that’s it for this season. Have any comments about the final show? Or how it all turned out? Click the Comments link below and speak your mind!