Debra Really, Really Hates Mosquitoes

Posted by: elraymundo at 8:15 am on Tuesday, August 7, 2007
From: Great Falls, Virginia
Filed under: Lotus Blossom

Mosquitoes bite normal humans and a small red bump appears. The bump itches, there is irritation and mild cursing and a few days later the bump disappears and life return to normal.

Mosquitoes bite The Debra and several small red bumps appear. The bumps itch and then swell to large boil-like lumps. There is loud wailing, endless complaint and salty cursing as the lumps turn into welts. Her skin turns red and the air turns blue…it’s quite a colorful experience. In a day or two the raised welts make Debra look like she’s been whipped like a chariot horse in Spartacus.

Debra and I sat out on the screened-in deck (the recently violated screened-in deck - more on that tomorrow) at lunch this afternoon and a mosquito came by for a nibble. It went straight for Debra, of course - she has a natural magnetism for biting insects - and hummed around her legs.

“How do I tell if it’s a mosquito or a fly?” she said, squinting to see the insect.

“Is it zipping around or kind of lazily drifting around back and forth?”

Debra raised her hand and floated it in the air like a cork bobbing on water. “It’s moving like this,” she said.

“That’s a mosquito.” I took a bite of my tuna fish sandwich. Eyes wide, Debra locked her gaze onto the mosquito, stalking it, waiting for it to make a fateful mistake.

“I’m going to smash his (fornicating interjection) guts,” she said.

“Such language!” I teased. But Debra didn’t hear me. She was hunting.

Then the mosquito landed. Debra struck. She set her jaw and slapped her thigh with the flat of her hand. I chewed my tuna fish.

“Did you get it?” I asked after swallowing my food. Debra raised her hand slowly from her leg and looked at her palm. Plastered to her skin was the flattened black remains of the luckless bloodsucker.

“Well?” I asked.

Debra grinned and her eyes widened. Gleefully she said, “I smashed his (fornicating interjection) guts!”

6 Comments »

Comment by Tiff

08.7.07 @ 4:03 pm

Go LaRaymunda!!! Vengeance is mine!!!

Comment by Joey

08.8.07 @ 12:53 pm

Thank goodness you are BACK!!

Comment by Lisa

08.8.07 @ 7:32 pm

It’s about (fornicating interjection) time! How did the marathon go? That is the important question.

Comment by Elgordonck

08.10.07 @ 10:58 am

“Her skin turns red and the air turns blue…it’s quite a colorful experience.”

- Looking forward to the Photo of the Day

“whipped like a chariot horse in Spartacus”

- Again looking forward to the Photo of the Day

Comment by G$

08.10.07 @ 11:14 am

(fornicating interjection)-A right!!! Kill them skeeters! ;-)

Comment by Jefferoo

08.10.07 @ 5:40 pm

Yay for Debra! I feel her pain. I think I’m somewhere in between a normal human and a La Raymunda when it comes to mosquitoes.

Yay for us that you’re back!

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