Jeff Watson AI Threat Level: Green - The reader may proceed without danger of reading anything related to American Idol.

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A new contractor began working at the Place of Toil and Labor yesterday - turns out she went to UC Davis at the same time I did. We spent some time chatting about the campus and the exotic sites around the town of Davis.

“I used to spend a lot of time at a place called Crepe Bistro,” she said.

“Never heard of it,” I replied.

“They made the best crepes…”

“Wait a minute…did they also serve fondue in copper pots?”

“Yeah,” she said, circling the air with her fingers, drawing a pot in the air. “And they served the crepes in them too.”

“I remember that place. I used to work there as a dishwasher. The cheese from the fondue would melt onto the sides of the pots. It was impossible to get off. And the owner was a bastard.”

“I thought you had never heard of the place.”

“I’ve spent sixteen years purging the memory. Thanks for bringing it back.”

She also told me that Murder Burgers is no longer called Murder Burgers. Some residents got upset about the name, decided it was inflammatory or caused itching in tender places or some such nonsense (it’s a burger joint, for God’s sake!) and made the place change its name. It’s now called Redrum Burgers.

So now, instead of Murder Burgers they have Jack Nicholson bashing through a door with an axe so he can hack Shelley Duvall into tiny pieces. Yes, that’s a better image for the children.