Jeff Watson AI Threat Level: Green - The reader may proceed without danger of reading anything related to American Idol.

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Just eight days ago I posted an old joke about the dirtiest line ever uttered on television:

Q: What’s the dirtiest line ever uttered on television?

A: “Ward, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night.”

Well I’m here to tell you, ladies and gentlemen, that we have a new champion for the dirtiest line ever uttered on television (not counting cable, of course, or pay-per-view or adult programming or Fox News). Our winner comes to us courtesy of Quizno’s and their recent commercial for their new prime rib sandwich.

To set the stage, the commercial shows several actors typical sub-sandwich consumers comparing hefty, beefy Quizno’s prime rib sandwiches to flat, dessicated Subway sandwiches. It’s Armageddon all over the place for Subway; they’re just getting killed in the comparisons.

The final salvo of the commercial is fired by one of two attractive young women. One woman eats a Quizno’s prime rib sammich while the second woman holds one in her hands. The woman holding the sandwich exclaims to the off-camera host, wide-eyed and flirtatiously, before giggling to wrap the shot:

“It’s not lackin’ any meat…and that’s what real women need!”

Folks, we have a new winner. Mothers, hide your children.