Attention White People!
“Why,†I asked my non-cracker friend Bernard, “are white people called crackers?â€
“I think it has to do with the complexion of your skin resembling that of a Ritz cracker.â€
“A Ritz?â€
“No, that’s not right…â€
“You mean a Saltine.â€
“Yeah, a Saltine.â€
“Interesting.â€
“Yeah, I don’t know why people have to go and come up with things like that.â€
“Well, something had to be done; no one was offended by honky.†Bernard laughed as he pulled into a parking space. “A slur doesn’t work if no one is offended by it.â€
“Good point,†he said.
“We do look kind of like Saltines, though. And here’s a little known fact: white people are salty.â€
“I suppose everyone is salty.â€
“No, I mean we have little grains of salt stuck to us, like Saltines. It’s just hard to see because of our color. But give us a lick sometime. Good stuff.â€
“Oh, one other thing – we’re very tasty with peanut butter.â€